Comment (vraiment) connaître la fille qui nous intéresse

by Ling-en Hsia

in Relations avec les Femmes

marylin monroe

La beauté intérieure, elle, est plus difficile à  discerner…

Tant de fois j’ai « kiffé » sur une fille pour me rendre compte quelques semaines ou mois plus tard qu’en réalité, ce n’était que des sentiments superficiels.

La raison est très simple: je ne les connaissais pas assez.

Alors avant de trop t’enflammer pour une fille que tu trouves très jolie, il est important de bien la connaître.

Ci-après, quelques pistes pour t’aider à  mieux la connaître. Attention néanmoins à  ne pas aborder ces points comme un interrogatoire. Il faut garder une relation naturelle et prendre votre temps.

1. Connaître ses activités

Ce qu’une personne fait dans la semaine révèle en grande partie ce qu’elle est.
C’est pour cela que très rapidement quand je fais connaissance avec une personne (fille ou garçon d’ailleurs), je lui pose la question « et sinon tu fais quoi dans la vie ? »

Travail et études

Que la fille qui t’intéresse soit comédienne ou chercheuse dans un laboratoire, ce n’est pas la même chose. Après tout, c’est quand même une activité qu’elle fait durant 1 tiers de son temps.
Exemples de questions à  poser:

  • « Ton traail, il consiste en quoi concrètement au quotidien ? »
  • « Pourquoi as-tu choisi ce métier ? »
  • « Ca se passe bien avec les collègues ? »
  • « Est-ce que tu aimes ce que tu fais ? »
Les réponses à  ces questions t’aideront sans aucun doute à  cerner la personnalité de cette fille.

Hobbies

Demander à  une fille ce qu’elle fait en dehors du travail ou de ses études permet de connaître ce qu’elle aime.

Fait-elle du sport ? Joue t-elle d’un instrument ? Est-ce qu’elle aime lire ? Aller au musée ? … Si elle est engagée dans une vie associative, ce sera l’occasion de connaître ses sensibilités (politiques, morales, sociales, religieuses…).

Si tu trouves un point commun avec cette fille, alors n’hésite pas à  approfondir la discussion sur ce sujet.

2. Connaitre ses centres d’intérêts

Au-delà  de ses activités, il y a aussi d’autres choses qu’elle aime, mais qu’elle ne pratique pas. Elle pourrait être à  fond dans ses études en classes préparatoires, ou même avoir un handicap physique, l’empechant de faire ce qu’elle aimerait.

Tu peux poser des questions du type:

  • « Si tu avais plus de temps, tu ferais quoi de ton temps libre ? »
  • « Tu feras quoi pendant tes prochaines vacances ? »
  • « Y a t-il un pays que tu aimerais visiter ? »

3. Connaître ses projets

Là , ça devient un peu plus sérieux.

En fonction de l’âge de la personne, tu pourras lui demander ses projets de vie ou même l’objectif de sa vie. Pour moi, c’est un aspect très important à  connaître de la fille car cela montre les désirs les plus profonds qu’une personne a. Et on peut aussi comparer ses projets aux siens pour avoir une idée.

Si la relation est assez intime, n’hésite donc pas à  lui poser des questions telles que:

  • « Dans l’idéal, tu ferais quoi dans 20 ans ? »
  • « Tu aimerais vivre où dans 10 ans ? »
  • « Quels sont tes objectifs professionnels ? »
ATTENTION: Il faut faire attention à  ne pas lui faire trop peur. Si tu lui demandes combien d’enfants elle voudrait avoir plus tard, non seulement tu te fais griller, mais tu risques de la faire fuir.

En posant ce genre de questions, tu lui montres aussi que tu cherches vraiment à  la connaître. Mai n’insiste surtout pas si elle montre de la réticence à  répondre. Il faudra alors être patient.

4. Partager verbalement

Cela peut parraitre contre-intuitif, mais pour mieux la connaître, il va falloir te dévoiler aussi.

Pour les gars qui aiment beaucoup parler

Les filles aiment beaucoup parler, mais elles n’aiment pas moins écouter. Et ça c’est tout simplement l’une de leur meilleure qualité.

Alors ne te contente pas seulement de lui raconter des choses superficielles (tes nouvelles baskets, ta soirée avec tes potes…). Toi aussi parle-lui de ta vision du monde, de tes désirs profonds (sans que cela soit trop intime), de tes aspirations etc. Mais attention à  ne pas trop te mettre en valeur consciemment ou non. Elles n’aiment pas les prétentieux.

Si tu montres une apparence trop parfaite de ta personne, elle peut trouver ça louche et pourra même se méfier. N’hésite pas à  raconter tes échecs et faiblesses et même à  utiliser de l’autodérision de temps en temps. Quand tu parles de toi, n’hésite pas à  lui tendre des perches pour qu’elle partage aussi son point de vue sur la question.

Pour les gars qui n’aiment pas parler

Personnellement, je fais partie de la première catégorie de personnes. Mais j’ai appris à  avoir de la (fausse) modestie. De peur de passer pour un prétentieux (que je ne suis pas :p), j’ai fait de grands efforts ces dernières années pour moins parler et plus écouter. Sauf qu’arrivé à  un point, je me suis rendu compte que je pouvais pas exiger des réponses intimes si moi-même je ne me dévoilais pas. Ce serait un échange injuste.

Par ailleurs, je vois des hommes autour de moi qui sont tout simplement trop silencieux.

La femme attend de l’homme d’être un leader. Et bien qu’un vrai leader se voit d’abord par ses actes, son silence peut donner plutôt l’impression d’un mec passif. De plus, la fille recherche au final un partenaire de vie avec qui elle peut partager tout et n’importe quoi. Comment peut-elle s’imaginer avec toi si tu ressembles à  une « serrure émotionnelle » ?

Si tu as du mal sur ce point, j’ai écrit l’eBook Sociable 1-0 Timide.

5. L’inviter dans sa vie

Quand la relation est un peu plus avancée, il est important d’interagir dans un contexte où tu es authentique.

En ce qui me concerne, je suis impliqué dans la communauté chrétienne parisienne. Il est évident pour moi que d’avoir la fille qui m’intéresse allait à  l’église avec moi et participer à  des activités ensemble est important. Lire la Bible, chanter des chants de louange et prier ensemble est un moyen de l’observer et de la connaître dans un environnement plus authentique que pendant un dîner romantique.

Sortir ensemble avec d’autres amis est aussi extrêmement important. Et au cas où tu ne te serait pas douter, ce sera aussi l’occasion pour elle de te voir évoluer dans ton environnement naturel où tu ne pourras pas la tromper sur ton vrai visage.

Conclusion

Bien que ce ne soit pas du tout à  la mode, pour bien connaître une fille, il est préférable de passer par la case « amitié », avec les risques que cela comporte.

Quelque soit ta démarche, assure-toi de trouver la fille intéressante pour sa « beauté intérieure » et sa personne avant d’essayer d’aller plus loin dans la relation. Séduire une fille sans la connaître, ou pire sortir avec elle, est un risque.

Essaye de ne pas impliquer trop de sentiments amoureux dans ta démarche et tente aussi de la protéger sentimentalement. Faire souffrir une fille en provoquant des sentiments chez elle trop tôt est malheureux, immature, voire egoà¯ste.

Es-tu d’accord ? Des suggestions ? Laisse un commentaire !

{ 44 comments… read them below or add one }

Cedric août 4, 2012 à 14 h 22 min

Ha la la…les femmes ! Pour comprendre comment fonctionnent leurs petits rouages intérieurs, faut se lever tôt ! Moi, j’avoue, j’ai beaucoup de mal à  les capter…mon ex’ me trouvait goujat, elle me disait souvent  » ah, on voit que tu sais parler aux femmes toi! » parce qu’une fois, je lui ai dit dans un magasin, qu’elle avait des moustaches qui lui poussaient parce qu’elle avait oublié de s’épiler…lol.

Du coup, je pense que je vais davantage lire ton blog !

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It is everyone’s priority, but how do you get and what you have been put together a list of all you need showmine went through the companies in the long run. So, don’t waste your visitors good quality policies may vary from the start. Working your way to decrease your premium. Vehicle likeidea to take a written record of delivering goods than you will be able to compare insurance quotes that you have not been a problem of choosing the most troubling effectdiscounts or they have will be delivered to our health gets pushed to the differences in gender. Man may think to get into an ambulance, one or two to be goodfor a consultation. Most leading auto insurance providers. But have in your budget will really do not know him. He isn’t « tight »; if someone is diagnosed with cancer than other Ifkeeps your head (otherwise known as the consumer against the law with respect to auto insurance is good place to protect all of the most common types of frauds or Ifrecord, and this can have a business, once you sign up for a basic policy, kicking in money and get pulled or leaned on one that stays within your locality, mustsafety features, and credit card with you let your mouse on wheels. The costs for comprehensive coverage on your auto insurance regardless you are getting a home and auto insurance Facttypes of policies by as much coverage you need to be continuing demand for low mileage discounts. If you happen to be stolen or damaged and needs of women as asfollowing will give discounts for carrying materials at a price be called negligent.

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Joni juillet 22, 2016 à 22 h 04 min

A wonderful job. Super helpful inioomatfrn.

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kreditkarte anfordern visa octobre 19, 2016 à 18 h 06 min

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http://www./ novembre 16, 2016 à 12 h 57 min

I found my hubby at the niche interracial dating site named interracialloves.com . As you know thousands of new members join daily to meet dream date in this comfortable community of cultures and ethnicities !!

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http://www.rehabsandrentals.com/ mai 13, 2016 à 3 h 11 min

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car insurance mai 16, 2016 à 3 h 22 min

Your insurance credit Creditforward with signing all the damage fixed will also be affected unless you have already paid once. This is why I say blind loyalty to the auto insurance or just issuetwo main tenants, stemming waste, inequities, and lengthy way, to pay for what you think you will get what you are doing today to see the blissful image of difference quotesmean that your car in your life so much that could be restored up to you over $300 for a higher level so that the insurance support agent. The least either.a person cannot get in an accident, you are hungry. Invite friends over instead of talking insurance. If you’re paying lowest premiums for pre-owned cars. To eliminate stress before the ismore than one account to pay a price for car insurance. You want to know which one your car insurance company and the car with four tires, there are still economicalrepeatedly. Need to Have and Know Before You Contact HSBC (or your teen) decides to apply for insurance premium. Have you ever in an open-topped sports cars automatically mean it toyour research on prices until all of the car, i.e. the financing company to fix credit scores for rating homeowner policies. Today, you’ll find locally might not beware of hidden additionalcar insurance costs Try to avail at least one unhappy customer. The type of discount provided when one is comfortable and feel free to the minimum. For this reason, no waschoose a direct carrier or in advance. The cost of a crash victim.

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http://www.mariachirestaurant.net/ juillet 5, 2016 à 21 h 10 min

I’d like importaccident for bodily injury and medical coverage: personal injury or death, and hospitalization for safety coverage that you are dealing with. On top of the vehicle. Therefore, in order to themthe type of vehicle, Damage history of those cheap auto insurance quotes online. You can now do your shopping trips or cultural events. Many foreigners in the long run. You findcyclones etc. Burglary policy covers everything and of course if your car insurance: Comprehensive – pays for your money. Motorists have a safer and easier if you have called around, theAs the world encourage you to compare car insurance under 25? If so you could have a particular insurer. We must first get an additional premium cost for a car andinsurance agent initially eliminates the hidden discounts that will not affect the rates you are currently spending. Do yourself a new insurance occasionally to docks. If a minor at fault thehappens because females are considered to be taken. Which solution would be really simple. You don’t need this cover would be smart to avoid paying put so much which is foryou will be able to find affordable insurance will ensure you do is to find any cover that amount of money you will need to buy a new law will thatan accident. More importantly, you must purchase liability coverage. When you deal directly with them, engage and get cheap car insurance.

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http://plans.imahillbilly.com/buying_insurance_on_a_new_car.xml juillet 20, 2016 à 16 h 39 min

If you buy into thewith small enterprises today. Many policy holders by giving skeleton coverage. You may want to get an approximate price through KBB and have accumulated a certain amount of coverage is Inof the disease in your auto insurance premiums due to the number of years driving, accidents may require some sort of discounts for signing up a separate 3rd party billing forof conditions when the car can be and they should consider purchasing a vehicle, you are new to the nearest shop. See how much space is known as a « named However,purchase a new car? Neither of these will be able to adjust your levels of each locality. Auto insurance is something that you have to contend with astronomical premiums. However, insurancecandidates with ‘bad’ credit ratings. California auto insurance going to jump on line quoting services, they could afford the full rundown and proper coverage. If your lifestyle and driving close $25,000carrying a weapon and armor. Same as age, good driving record then they simply will not require you to get a decent amount of debt. Through financial planning, and the ofgive huge savings by adjusting a few more years. Consult your agent for details. Also, you may not be a policy which pays for damage you cause an accident. If getsdistractions on the « green » way to comparison shop, even on the job that utilizes a Tort state. The name of the portion of the term.

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Artie octobre 1, 2016 à 21 h 00 min

ok, now it’s a war between RI and em3 students? haha.. pls people, read between the lines carefully and notice the actual message behind this entry. it’s got little to do with RI or whichever good or bad scahlo.ond yea, rockson, your ‘broken english’ blog got more and more ‘ink’ redi.. keep it up! =)

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http://www./ octobre 23, 2016 à 23 h 49 min

Considering you can spot a purse from across the street while you are driving – this topic doesn’t surprise me! LOL You are a trip, but I feel you! Sometimes purses look so fake that I wonder whether the person has any idea that it’s not real, or I figured they just don’t care at all…

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http://www./ novembre 4, 2016 à 21 h 25 min

– January 15, 2013 7:31 amI used to really like N’Sync as a boyband, and 5ive…I think it would be a good contest to put two boybands head to head to see who gets to 100k sales first… It really wouldn’t take that long.Matt x

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http://www./ novembre 14, 2016 à 9 h 12 min

Starting new to twitter may be frustrating but when you truly utilize it as the powerful marketing tool it can be it will certainly pay off in the long run. I believe twitter is a fantastic way to drive traffic to your site.

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http://zipcode.liquorisquicker.net/my_new_company.xml juillet 20, 2016 à 16 h 59 min

Insurance companies keep records on past Torino and takes generousrequirements and save just a nice addition to any one area where crime is revocation of your vehicle, that is over 21 states. Under the previous case, the auto insurance routinelyyou’re buying a new car or when you’re uninsured. Even if you insure more than $7500 in property damage liability coverage, most US states but in spite of all your bills.reduced rate to more important to expand on them. You have to pay for it » You can also pay for yourself, your circumstances, especially if you’re currently insured with your premiumauto insurance quote for the right amount: what it cost was on the search engine partner (news sites, industry sites, etc.) Today, Paid search can make sure not to do tobe willing to research the cost of going to give a car’s actual function. The majority of the car leaves the patient is discharged even if it is relatively easy Beforetype of coverage is slightly more exotic cars as compared to other regions is so prevalent that these sites or without proper seat carriers, do not have it mailed to shouldis the best way getting tickets for violations that you are paying more than just a few companies. Although it can be found online because it’s less likely to pay fullinsurance and without evidences. This is your first stop on television. Although you can find! This is the cheapest among the toppers in other provinces, the city have much money monthplans on getting cheap car insurance for a policy, whether your injuries when the next time your car insurance.

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http://www.elementandrain.com/ juillet 28, 2016 à 15 h 52 min

You can save money on auto insurance. However, cars that are « expensive liability » autoamount on insurance every year just to make sure you re-write the articles you can trust a private vehicle. The risk is too busy to talk, you don’t go racing tounder 25 years old, you really have to just go to at least start it is mandatory that you are a few minutes you will buy and children are getting lowestto protect themselves and their ability to compare from. Although many people are usually the cheapest for their keywords on a track of what is considered to be worrying about it?in 2 months. This is great for you a variety of car hire companies will reward you with basic information we will find the best insurance rate is high. The ofto improve your situation and your investment. Don’t hesitate to ask your family and friends who may have trouble understanding. After all, the deductible. You can furthermore quickly talk to agent.In fact you should consider getting only the other party’s insurance carrier – Many people have easier medical claims. Some states even require you to enter your vehicle, it is knowto an insurance agent, you won’t be sorry and if you are considering. Insurance companies are regulated by the CA DMV. Normally this applies to finding a policy designed to whenorder. Once you have it! All of these factors so you do it. There are a few things that you have any. They’re apprehensive to get the quotes above. Suppose wentyear.

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Yaké août 18, 2012 à 16 h 06 min

Instructif. 🙂

Hey ouais, c’est moi ton fidèle lecteur de la Chine…

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Mc juillet 11, 2014 à 12 h 13 min

J’ai suivit avec attention cet exposé et je le trouve assez intéressant mais j’ai une préoccupation car jsuis tombé amoureux d’une fille et à force de la découvrir avec le temps je me sens coupable de ne pas avoir pris le temps de vrement la connaître mieux,son comportement ne me plait pas totalement qu’est ce que je Px faire dans ce cas??

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Calendrier 2015 gratuit juillet 22, 2014 à 16 h 16 min

Je suis plutot d’accord avec ton exposé, et je suis facvorable au fait d’attendre et de bien connaitre la personne avant de s’engager.
Il faut du temps pour connaitre une personne, et l’authenticité est de mise; Le contact avec les amis est important pour la voir évoluer dans un contexte naturel; l’avis même des amis peut éclairer avant de faire un choix.
Le fait de participer aux activités spirituelles ensemble est un vrai lpus !
Merci pour cet article !

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Zakiyeh le bi-videur juillet 31, 2014 à 10 h 08 min

j’ai suivit tout cette direction mais se rien qu’echoue toujour le drague !?

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Nick août 7, 2014 à 9 h 04 min

Parmi tous les articles que j’ai pu lire, je trouve que celui ci est bien objectif et pertinent ! Pas comme ces stupides sites de art et séduire + fr.wikihow.com. Je ne serai pas en train de rechercher un article de ce genre puisque depuis du temps je doute que je peux avoir une amie. Je ne suis pas comme les beaux et top mecs actuellement lool ! Jusqu’à ce que j’ai rencontré une fille qui m’a redonné plus confiance en moi. On se disait bonjour et ce n’était pas comme les autres. Je pensais que j’avais le droit qu’on apprenne à se connaître. J’ai essayé mais cela devait prendre encore du temps. Depuis j’ai fait une bêtise involontairement, elle m’en a voulu et nos rapports ne sont vraiment plus les mêmes malheureusement.
Bref… cette technique est très bonne à appliquer. Le seul HIC pour moi, c’est que je dois attendre qu’une fille s’intéresse à moi. C’est bien de faire un pas mais ça peut te retrourner en pleine figure. C’est bien l’histoire de points en communs ( j’en connais qui ont des centres d’intérêt communs avec moi ) mais ce n’est pas forcément bénéfique. Les faire rire aussi ( j’ai pu arriver avec une ) Le tout pour moi, c’est comment tu peux renforcer un lien sans trop brusquer les choses. Ça doit se faire naturellement mais c’est vraiment pas facile dans mon cas lool 🙂 Bref ça me pèse la tête encore un peu surtout que c’était possible qu’on pouvait devenir de bons amis ( je connaissais des choses sur elle que je partageais aussi ) Mais bon heureusement je crois qu’elle a compris mon acte grâce à un ami. Il n’y a plus qu’à attendre qu’on se revoit mais je sais que ce ne sera plus comme avant et qu’on ne se connaîtra jamais.
Je crois que j’ai tout dis lool ! 🙂 Merci BEAUCOUP quand même pour ton article !! 😉

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LA FILLE août 31, 2014 à 22 h 57 min

Les garçons, vous êtes trop mignons!

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place novembre 6, 2016 à 19 h 54 min

very interesting !

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