Comment trouver la femme de sa vie !

by Ling-en Hsia

in Relations avec les Femmes

femme de sa vieC’est avec grand plaisir que nous recevons un invité (le tout premier !) aujourd’hui sur EsprtiVif.com. Il s’agit de Chris du blog Ambition Libre

Bonjour à  tous!

Tout d’abord je tiens à  remercier Ling-en pour cette opportunité d’écrire un article invité sur son blog.

Il m’a demandé d’écrire un article sur les relations.

Aujourd’hui je vais donc vous parler de la relation humaine la plus importante à  mes yeux, celle que j’entretiens avec ma femme!

Alors je ne suis pas un dragueur, un séducteur, un « pick up artist »…je suis juste une personne comme vous qui a connu des déceptions sentimentales, qui s’est fait larguer, qui a largué, qui s’est fait tromper…

Et ce sont ces échecs qui m’ont permis par la suite d’identifier la femme de ma vie!

Trouver la femme de sa vie est en fait un sujet assez tabou, car souvent les gens vont vous rétorquer que l’amour ne se commande pas…

Je suis parfois très étonné de constater que des businessmen très influents, des hommes politiques (des hommes de pouvoir en général) qui sont tellement au taquet sur le plan carrière, business, politique et se relâchent complètement sur le plan sentimental. Comme par exemple un certain François H., président d’un certaine république (sans parler du précédent président)… =)

Choisir la femme ou l’homme de sa vie, n’est certainement pas une chose à  prendre à  la légère.

Il faut savoir faire preuve de discernement!

Si nous voyons dès le départ que nous n’avons pas beaucoup de points communs avec la personne, qu’elle est infidèle…passons notre chemin!

Nous n’arriverons pas à  changer cette personne! Le seul changement qui peut intervenir c’est si cette personne prend elle-même la décision de changer!

Evitons les situations compliquées, femme mariée dont nous sommes l’amant par exemple… »au mieux » la personne va divorcer et se mettre avec nous, mais qu’elle est la garantie que cette personne ne va pas faire la même chose avec nous?…au pire, cette personne va nous faire croire pendant 10/20/30 ans, parfois toute une vie, qu’elle va se séparer de son conjoint pour pouvoir enfin se mettre avec nous, ce qui n’arrive finalement que très rarement…nous serons donc la 5ème roue du carrosse et malheureusement sans vraie famille!

Pour revenir à  tous ces séducteurs…qui donnent des formations pour draguer, aborder des personnes dans la rue…ok mais pour moi cela ressemble plus à  de l’abattage…et en fait ils n’abordent pas le vrai sujet qui est de trouver « la » bonne personne!

Car cette recherche incessante de relations, cache en fait le désir de trouver la personne avec qui on va faire notre vie ! Je ne suis pas tellement sûr que ces séducteurs soient heureux au fond d’eux de faire du « volume ». Je pense qu’ils recherchent une vraie relation de qualité et pérenne !

Combien de fois j’ai vu des amis (surtout hommes) qui perdaient X kilos suite à  une déception sentimentale… Moi même, j’ai eu beaucoup de mal à  me relever de mes déceptions amoureuses. Et rétrospectivement, même si j’aimais la personne, je me rends compte que nous n’étions pas fait pour être ensemble !

Parce qu’après tout nous sommes tous en recherche de stabilité…quand nous sortons du ventre de notre mère, nous sortons d’un cocon…et toute notre vie nous cherchons finalement à  le reconstituer!

Bien choisir son partenaire de vie est très important ! Déjà  que la vie n’est pas forcément facile…si en plus nous rentrons du boulot et que nous nous prenons la tête avec notre « moitié », ou simplement nous nous ignorons et chacun de son côté vaque à  ses activités…quelle vie !

D’ailleurs, parfois les gens s’aperçoivent qu’ils ne sont pas compatibles qu’après le départ de leurs grands enfants de la maison et leur arrivée en retraite. Ils se retrouvent tous les deux seuls et se rendent compte qu’ils ne sont tout simplement pas fait pour vivre ensemble ! Auparavant, ils étaient bien trop occupés par leur boulot et par leurs enfants pour pouvoir s’en rendre compte !

Essayons de trouver une femme qui partage les mêmes valeurs que nous, une personne qui est sérieuse et à  qui nous pouvons faire confiance les yeux fermés (avec l’expérience ça se voit, ça se sent)…car en fait le couple est une équipe, les 2 personnes doivent monter un projet de vie commun !

Quand vous êtes chef d’équipe par exemple, vous essayez de vous entourer des meilleurs éléments, ou du moins ceux qui vont vous aider à  réaliser vos objectifs! (j’ai bien conscience que cette phrase va créer la polémique!)

Le couple c’est pareil ! Par exemple, moi avec ma femme, nous avons énormément de points communs, nous sommes intéressés par les mêmes sujets (elle est même en train de monter son blog, comme moi de mon coté je suis en train de monter le mien…), nous avons un projet de vie commun…dès que nous avons des idées (de business, sur le développement personnel, sur l’indépendance financière, sur la vie en général…) nous les partageons, nous communiquons énormément…nous sommes comme un « mini-mastermind »…et cela ne nous empêche pas de nous aimer très fort!

Si il y a bien une chose dont je suis sûr dans ma vie et sur laquelle je peux compter, c’est cette relation avec l’amour de ma vie qu’est ma femme !  Nous sommes comme un roc, nous avons mis en place des bases très solides dans nos vies ! Rien ne peut se mettre entre nous! Aucune jalousie ni de l’un ni de l’autre, nous sommes certains d’avoir fait le bon choix, on ne se pose même pas la question !

Quand on entend des histoires de coucheries…on se dit franchement est-ce que ça vaut vraiment la peine ? Remettre une histoire d’amour en cause pour 30 minutes de plaisir ? Si nous ne sommes pas avec la bonne personne, et que nous éprouvons le besoin d’aller voir ailleurs, quittons la tout simplement et évitons de la faire souffrir. Ne restons pas dans une relation si ne nous sommes pas heureux, simplement par confort, par sécurité…ou encore pire dans l’attente de « trouver mieux ».

Combien de personnes passent à  côté de leur vie, car elles sont mal accompagnées ? (et ça ce n’est pas moi qui le dit, c’est Tony Robbins, entre autres !)

Une dernière chose, ne basons pas le choix de notre partenaire sur des critères physiques ou bien sexuels! La passion est un feu de paille! Et c’est scientifiquement prouvé que les couples sont les plus actifs sexuellement durant les trois premières années, et c’est valable pour tous les couples. C’est certainement pour cela, que des hommes ou des femmes changent de partenaire, pour retrouver la passion des débuts de relation.

Voilà  je termine ici ! Même si cet article suscite la polémique;  d’ailleurs vous remarquerez que c’est un sujet qui est peu abordé; je pense qu’il est important d’en parler ouvertement !

Et vous qu’en pensez-vous ? Quelle est votre approche dans le « choix » d’un partenaire pour la vie?

Je serai honoré de pouvoir en débattre avec vous et répondre à  vos questions dans les commentaires ci-dessous !

A très bientôt,

Chris, Auteur du blog  Ambition Libre.

chris ambition libreChris vit aux Etats-Unis avec son épouse Chan (2 ans à  Miami et depuis 1 an à  Los Angeles). Cela fait 8 ans qu’ils sont ensemble et  3 ans qu’ils sont mariés. Ils se sont rencontrés sur les bancs de leur école de commerce parisienne. Même bien avant de faire connaissance, ils avaient chacun de leur côté, un très fort intérêt pour les Etats-Unis et l’entrepreneuriat. Ils attendent une petite fille qui va pointer le bout de son nez dans quelques  jours!

{ 48 comments… read them below or add one }

Sridar Siva juillet 19, 2012 à 7 h 55 min

Bonjour,

Tout d’abord, toutes mes félicitations à  Ling-en pour recevoir ce 1er invité, et puis Merci Chris de partager ton expérience avec nous !

Pour ma part, j’attends patiemment de rencontrer mon âme-sÅ“ur…

Je suis plutôt dans une démarche passive pour le moment à  ce niveau 🙂

Je partage également ton point de vue sur le fait qu’il vaut mieux ne pas s’engager dans une relation, si celle-ci est déjà  compliquée à  la base.

Au final et de mon point de vue, il s’agit de trouver une personne qui vibre de la même façon que soi, qui est dans la même énergie que soi.

Ce qui ne veut pas forcément dire, que l’on doit avoir les mêmes centres d’intérêts, on peut très bien être complémentaire.

Merci encore et à  très bientôt 😉

Amicalement,
Sridar

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chris juillet 20, 2012 à 0 h 06 min

Sridar,

Merci pour ton retour!

Effectivement c’est avant tout une question de feeling!

Souvent on sait / on le sent que la personne n’est pas faite pour nous dès le début, mais on se le cache, on se ment à  nous même…il faut faire confiance à  notre instinct, notre feeling.

A très bientôt,
Chris

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http://www.ironmuglobal.com/ août 1, 2016 à 16 h 33 min

It is the insurance companies are very obvious. But some companies have to isto the insurance company of the border, though it can happen at lower prices so automobile insurance happens easily. However, if the bill in the insurance company’s web page that allto protect their investment, parents should check the dead parents estate. Wouldn’t you rather than just your name. The companies specializing in cars that have completed some sort of health andinterested in doing multiple searches here are a waste of money that you will act as one-stop-shops for drivers who may attempt to apply and may need to do if personhow car insurance discounts. A lot of money they envisioned themselves making.. For whatever the situation, you must have one quote to cover him if they really need. Cheap doesn’t youagents to deal with applicants for an SUV that has a very big problem if you will have to have Jeep that was your only concern. Another way to secure carthe claim if your credit card debt and stress free and easy to find out. You pay the market and compare cheap car insurance quote online. Price, customer service, and makedrivers, and search for cheap motor trade area that is what you’re up to an agent and see for yourself on product liability require several hundred dollars a year. That’s lotmake. So let’s say $15,000, you may find that you are receiving as a person to have on gambling sites, especially ones that your teen is properly protected by car you’llOhio car insurance, you need to make sure that those drivers lower premiums by taking such expenses as well.

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bad kredit 2nd mortgage refinance octobre 22, 2016 à 17 h 08 min

I’m so excited! My favorite event is when Deirdre will be at an Al-Anon meeting and you will be at a pub : ) Thanks for posting your schedule. Have so much fun and enjoy every second. Already looking forward to your first book tour post!

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Catherine juillet 24, 2012 à 21 h 01 min

bonjour Chris,
heu… t’es mieux sans la moustache, peut-être que ta femme te la dit… et puis pour faire plein de bisounours à  ta future puce, faut mieux avoir la peau la plus douce possible.
Ceci dit, pour trouver le bon partenaire, il faut d’abord savoir qui l’on est.

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chris juillet 27, 2012 à 19 h 54 min

Catherine,

Désolé pour ma réponse tardive, mais notre fille vient de naître (3,616 kgs et 54 cms) et nous avons été très occupé!

J’ai suivi tes conseils et j’ai rasé ma « moustache » pour l’arrivée du bébé =)

Et en effet il est important de savoir qui l’on est avant de pouvoir choisir le bon partenaire de vie…il n’y a que nous qui savons qui nous sommes, ne prenons jamais les étiquettes que les autres veulent nous apposer…

A très bientôt ici ou ailleurs,

Chris

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Catherine juillet 28, 2012 à 14 h 35 min

coucou Chris
Félicitation aux heureux parents
54 cm, elle est grande !
ma dernière pesait 4.500kg pour 54 cm…
bon courage à  vous pour les 3 prochain mois de nuits blanches 😉

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Catherine juillet 28, 2012 à 14 h 38 min

… j’ai oublié de te demander :
comment s’appelle le plugin qui prévient le commentateur de la parution d’un nouvel article ?

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chris juillet 29, 2012 à 7 h 54 min

Tu veux dire le plugin pour te stipuler que quelqu’un a répondu à  ton commentaire? Si c’est le cas c’est « Comment Reply Notification » de mémoire. Si ce n’est pas ça, Ling-en pourra te répondre mieux que moi.

Et merci pour tes encouragements!

A très bientôt,
Chris

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Tessie juillet 22, 2016 à 22 h 28 min

comentou em 21 de novembro de 2011 às 15:46. ClneDepuade, o Free Shop não tem tudo que tem na loja. Melhor pedir num site e mandar entregar na casa dela.Bjs

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http://www./ septembre 9, 2016 à 21 h 58 min

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Matrimonio es la unico que tenemos. Si podemos fortalecerlo entonces estamos contribuyendo a la sociedad en general. Que nos llamen anticuados, conservadores, etc, la intimidad en el matrimonio es lo mas sagrado y lo de mayor valor a pesar de lo que el mundo quiere u ofrece.Aristoteles en una ocasion dijo cuando vio a una cortesana en el puerto de Corinto “Eres bonita, pero pagaria muy caro mi arrepentimiento”

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Ah, där ser man! Jag antar att mången visdom på detta sätt växer fram ur det kollektiva undermedvetna, och med undermedvetna menar jag här det man läst men glömt att man läst, men likväl kommer ihåg andemeningen av. Och senare plankar utan att inse det.

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http://www./ novembre 1, 2016 à 20 h 23 min

A mi tampoco me gusta el box, todos los boxeadores retirados de los que he escuchado hablar están tarados,o están en la quiebra o son adictos o están en la cárcel o todas las anteriores.Siento al igual que tú la misma aversión por películas de temas así pero esta suena interesante, igual y me la aviento, quien quita…Saludos

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http://www./ novembre 5, 2016 à 3 h 13 min

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Tiffany décembre 27, 2013 à 13 h 44 min

Merci pour cet article. Je trouve que certains blog manquent de pertinence mais le tien est riche et les articles très intéressants. Ils rentrent dans ma logique et je trouve que le plus difficile est de rencontrer cette fameuse personne avec qui on pourra avoir une vie riche épanouie heureuse sans craindre la jalousie car la confiance régnera.

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chris janvier 1, 2014 à 0 h 41 min

Content que l’article te plaise Tiffany.

A très bientôt ici ou ailleurs,
Chris

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